Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. — Eckhart Tolle
I haven’t been posting as much in my blog as an unintended (but not necessarily unwelcome) consequence of my month of my mindfulness. I have really enjoyed journaling everyday and am able to put things in a private journal that I don’t necessarily feel comfortable sharing on the blog, or things that would bore the hell out of most everyone else. (How many times do you guys really want to read about my company’s upcoming move?) However, I’ve found that putting everything in the journal has made blogging somewhat difficult in that I don’t really have the time or energy (or creativity or inspiration, for that matter) to produce something halfway decent.
Work has been incredibly stressful. In addition to the upcoming move, I’m headed towards our busy season, and I’m also beginning to feel taken advantage of and disrespected, so that has been clouding my outlook. I’m working through it, though. Journaling helps. Meditation helps. Running helps. I enjoy the no wine thing because at least I know I always have a clear head (and I don’t have to freak out in the middle of the night if Tabitha wakes up hungry. Have enough hours passed? Is it safe to feed her? Do I make a formula bottle? And then struggle with the inevitable guilt. I’M A HORRIBLE MOM BECAUSE I HAD A GLASS OF WINE. Abstaining is much easier on the mind and heart.)
(However, the no-gluten thing isn’t happening. I like my gluten. *shrugs*)
I have to remind myself that so much of life boils down to attitude and perspective. Yes, things are difficult at the moment, but I am going to work with it and not against it. I am going to keep performing to the best of my ability at work because that’s what I do. I’m going to take a few days or a few weeks or however long it takes to figure out how I want to address the matter of disrespect and when the times comes, I’ll have the conversation that needs to happen. In the meantime, I’ll focus on the positive. I have a supportive husband; an adorable, happy, healthy baby; a roof over my head and a well-paying job. I have my english breakfast tea and the promise of an absolutely gorgeous day. I have a run with fellow mamas to look forward to tomorrow. I have FRIDAY just around the corner.
That’s enough. I’m enough. Accept each moment for what it is and continue on your merry way.